Czechoslovakia's Pants
by Someonething94
Summary: Based off of the Munich Agreement, where Britain and France give Germany Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland, otherwise known as Czechoslovakia's Pants. Rated for slight language and implied sexual themes. Germany/OC Czechoslovakia


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!

Claimer: I own Czechoslovakia/Lanik

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**Warning: Analogy used: Sudetenland = Czechoslovakia's pants**

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"YOU WHAT?" Lanik screeched furiously.

England took a scared step back, or rather attempted to until he hit the wall. "I, uh..." he muttered, now worried he was going to be killed by Czechoslovakia. "It was Chamberlain! He did it!" The Englishman defended.

Czechoslovakia slapped him across the face, it was not enough for war, but it still hurt. "You gave him my vital region! WHAT THE HELL?" If it was not clear before, the teen was definitely furious. "Now I have to mobilize dammit! That's like taking my pants off and daring him not to fucking rape me!" The teen roared at England.

Other ally countries entered the room, well... the oblivious ones entered. Others ran out of the room, fearing the feral country. "FEAR NOT! THE HERO IS HERE!" America chanted with a big, juicy burger in his hand.

"Then take action, you idiot!" Czechoslovakia demanded in anger. "Because brainless here gave Germany my Sudetenland!" Her pale green eyes were filled with fire as she pointed an accusing finger at America's big brother.

England flung his hands in the air. "It was Chamberlain! It was him, I swear!" He yelled in his defense.

"Stop that! You look like Italy after Germany burned all of his white flags!" Lanik growled. Though the incident had never happened -yet- everyone knew what the sight would look like. "I wish I lived with Mother-Austria again! Then I really would have been safe," the nation whined softly. "I miss him, and Father-Hungary."

Austria came storming into the room, clearly having heard of England's "Little Gift" to Germany. "What are you trying to do to my daughter?" He demanded angrily from England. Now two countries were mad at the man with four eyebrows and blond hair.

France entered the room, completely oblivious and playing with his hair. England caught him in the corner of his eye. "France signed it too!" He yelled, beginning a four person cat-fight. In the background of the argument you could hear America happily watching the show as he continued to shout, "I'm the hero!"

0 . 0

Later on at Czechoslovakia's house, her "friendly" neighbor, Germany, knocked on her door. Unfortunately the younger country had no choice but to answer her door, especially because it was Germany. But because it was so unavoidable, Czechoslovakia was prepared with a plan that she had come up with and put into action shortly after being informed of Britain and France's mistake.

The door opened for Germany to see a short male-looking Czechoslovakia. Pale brown hair was cut shorter than Germany's and spiked at the front, gradually comped down at the back and on the sides. Cold grey-green eyes drilled holes into Germany's skull, sending chills down his spine. Czechoslovakia wore her military uniform, no skirt or traditional female clothing as he had heard that she often did. Part one was working, and would continue to work as long as puberty did not take over and give her a distinct, female voice like her "father," Hungary, had told her it would. If it were not for the alto tone in the teen's voice, Part One of Option A would never had been considered.

The startled German finally spoke, "Hello."

Czechoslovakia's stare reminded him too much of Japan's indifferent one. "_Guten Tag_," she responded in her ever-so fortunate, low voice. "Step in and take off your shoes. It's about to rain."

Once again Ludwig was taken aback. He looked to see dark clouds looming overhead, but then returned to gaze at his target and stepped inside. Bending down to take off his boots he decided it was okay to admit, "I thought you were a girl." Once his combat boots were off he stood, and Czechoslovakia lead him into her house.

_Step one: Success_

_Proceed to Step two of Option A_

Once in the kitchen, she turned to face him. "Thanks to my parents' swapped gender roles, it's not uncommon for me to cross-dress. Biologically, I am male." Okay, so the last statement was a lie, but the first definitely was not. Hungary was, without a doubt, more many that all of the male countries combined, or so she acted anyway. Due to this fact, Czechoslovakia calls Austria "Mother" or "Mom" and addresses Hungary as "Dad" or "Father" especially in front of America.

Germany nodded to show that he heard her and understood what she was saying. "All I need are your pants, Czechoslovakia. Then I can leave."

The girl fought back a grin, he was uncomfortable around _male_ cross-dressers. "Do you not hear it raining outside, Germany? Though I do not care for you all that much, I won't give you my pants just so they can be destroyed in the rain." Her harsh words bit Germany as she chopped the carrots. "You're only doing this because of your crazy boss, right?" She asked quietly as she slid chopped vegetables into boiling liquid, seemingly unsure of herself, distracted, and fearful.

"Don't call him that! He's helping me, freeing my of this sick slavery the Versailles Treaty put me in!" Germany countered the other countries words.

The girl raised the chopping knife and flung it passed Germany's face making it strike and stick in the nearby wall. "Dammit all, Germany! Look at you! He's killing so much of you! All but one race! When you invade me- and I know you're going to soon- I will be in your shoes! I will be the one unhappily obeying orders with a death threat looming over me!" Her words were vicious, maddened, and well presented with brute display and savage emotion. Tears did not even hint on her face, her eyes did not redden, but her face darkened with a false sense of hate. "I have not attacked unless attacked, though you accuse me of the opposite, I have played nice in the sandbox with you, Germany. But this is no kiddie pool, I am prepared to fight and do whatever it takes to protect myself from you and your "god" of a ruler. You are already prepared for that, though. Why else would you have taken my mother, Austria, first?" The question was obviously rhetorical, but it kept both nations silent.

The liquid in the pot was about to boil over and Czechoslovakia turned the burner off and set the pot elsewhere to cool.

Finally regaining his voice, Germany sighed softly. "I know, but you don't understand. Czechoslovakia, you're only a kid, you don't understand at all. Just give me your pants and let me leave, without your chastisement," he seemingly pleaded.

"Bastard! I may not be as old as you, or China, or even America, but I've been a country long enough to see through your stupid little charade!" Czechoslovakia growled as she removed her military pants to reveal boxers with her flag on them. "Here, now get the Hell out of my house!" She growled lowly and pushed the folded pants on Germany. "Stupid Bastard."

As Czechoslovakia had called it, Germany came knocking on her door not long after "stealing" her pants. This time, he was there for her and not just her pants. When the girl answered the door, he had noticed her hair was a little longer and all lazily hung down in front of her face. "I told you so," the teen said flatly. "Come in."

The man did as she said, stepping into the house he sighed.

"Boots off."

He took them off and followed her inside. "My boss told me to take you over," he said, eyes barely managing to not sink to the floor in shame. He had to do this, whether he wanted to or not.

Czechoslovakia was standing behind a chair now in her boxers and military top, no pants. "Go away, Germany. I'm not afraid to hurt you," she warned. If he saw past her plan, if she became one with him as his boss had probably planned, he would know her true gender. Not wanting to call her plan a failure, the teen raised the chair, pointing its legs at Germany. "Back off," she demanded roughly.

The older country groaned in regret and fought her for the chair, trying to throw it aside. "I don't want to fight you."

"Bull shit!" She spat at him. She held the seat of the chair and twisted it, successfully hitting Germany's knuckles repeatedly. Then the chair was thrown at him hitting his arms, chest, and waist. "Stay away, dammit!"

Germany growled at her and reached for a gun that was no longer there, he looked up at Czechoslovakia, "Lanik?"

"Thanks for the belt, it's pretty spiffy," the country grinned and lunged the chair at him again. "Go away, Germany."

The man grunted, he was not going to take this any longer. He forced the chair away and pinned her to the ground until she stopped struggling to get away. After a minute of her not struggling, the nation picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. "You're really light," he stated as he put his boots on, not bothering to tie them up. Then they were out the door and on their way to his home.

"I don't wanna go! I wanna go see Austria!" Czechoslovakia cried and hit Germany's back repeatedly. "I want my pants back! Put me down! Let me go now!" The girl demanded, clearly upset and scared. In fact, she was so upset she let her voice go. She sounded like a girl. Realizing this, Lanik immediately shut her mouth.

Ludwig gazed over his shoulder at her and smirked. "You really _are_ a woman, aren't you, Lanik?" He asked, holding her half-bare thighs a little more tightly. she was not going to be able to get away from him on his watch.

The teen turned to face him, her spine flexing slightly. It was hard to think with his arms wrapped around her toned thighs. "Are you a pedophile?" Lanik asked coldly, her hands were using his back to keep her upright. She was very curious for the answer, being only eighteen.

"No," the German answered without hesitation.

The younger nation grunted, resting now. "There's your answer."

This time Germany grunted with an amused smile on his face. "I don't believe you," he admitted.

"I heard when you were Holy Rome, you thought Italy was a girl. You kissed him," Czechoslovakia stated, "times have changed, so you better not do any worse, Germany." It was clear that she was aware of all of the possibilities.

"How do you know about that?"

"Italy and Mom told me," Lanik answered simply.

Germany chuckled softly, "I don't remember that at all, Lanik." They entered his house and he set Lanik on her feet in order for him to take his boots off and set them properly at the door. "Don't try to run away, or I will have to hurt you," the blond warned her.

Czechoslovakia nodded quietly and looked around the house. "So, what am I supposed to do?" She asked, doing her best to stay calm so she would not give her gender away for real this time.

The man looked into her with cold eyes. "You, Lanik, will do what ever I tell you to do."

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!" The younger nation exclaimed and rolled her eyes at him. Then she pushed her hair out of her face with the back of her hand in a very feminine way-while Germany was watching.

The man marched over to her and picked her up, suddenly determined.

"What are you doing?"

"You're a woman! Don't lie to me, Lanik! You're too light to be a guy, you have a woman's legs, a woman's voice, and ambition! Needless to say, you should not go running around without pants on as you have been," the German ranted.

Czechoslovakia crossed her arms, the man carrying her by the waist under his arm. "You took them! It's not my goddamn fault!" She whined, knowing he was taking her to his room now.

_Part Two of Option A: Failure_


End file.
